via Daily Prompt: Knackered

How apt for a Friday.

I think we are all knackered.

I’m especially knackered as I had a bit of a mental explosion last night due to being so knackered. Knackered from life, knackered from trying my best, to be the mum I see on social media, knackered trying to run a house and work full time, knackered from trying to explain my emotions, knackered watching my partner take the brunt of my mental issues, knackered seeing his eye’s sadden after I reveal that I am not OK, knackered from trying to sort my mental health. I’m knackered being knackered.

The knackered knocked me in the knackers last night and I erupted. I cried my eyes out while I tried to drown out Jessica’s ‘mummy’ pleas from her bed. I sat next to the spinning washing machine and questioned my sanity, my ability to mum, my choice in life and if it was acceptable to down a bottle of wine. Everyone else is knackered, why do I struggle? I told myself other people feel like this too. It didn’t help. I’m knackered from keeping it all in, trying to be ‘better’. I let it out.

So now I am deflated and knackered. My eyes are swollen due to my late night sobbing, my face feels knackered. It’s like waking from a midday nap, you are a bitΒ groggy and tired, counting down the hours until bed. There is no amount of caffeine that can shake off this knackeredness.

I’m too knackered to crack a smile.

Tomorrow will be better.

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11 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Knackered

    1. Thank you 😊 it’s partly why I started a blog, to let it out. I’m very luck on that I can speak openly and quite brutally to my partner about everything. Still, some days it gets the better of me. I keep plodding on, everyday is a new start 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Hope you’re feeling better now! I sometimes have sobbing breakdowns that seem to get set off for no reason, often when I’m driving to work. Which is quite dangerous and then of course I show up to work all puffy. But I do think its normal to have completely “unnormal” emotional outbursts. We keep it all in until it forces its way out. We just gotta get better at expressing it a bit at a time instead.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 😁 I am feeling better. Sometimes it’s just too much isn’t it? Feel much better after a cry and explosion. I’m still working on preventing getting so stressed πŸ€”

      Liked by 1 person

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