Me me me me

On the odd occasion I go on Pinterest – feel free to sell this to me as to why people use it – I have come across lots of pins that suggest good blog ideas for when you are having a mind blank. I think they are more aimed at those who want to drive and grow their blog, but I’m going to steal one of the ideas anyway. My recent posts have been rather deep and heart felt so I’m going to spice it up a bit today. Spice it up might be a bit of a stretch, don’t get too excited.

Today I’m going to tell you 20 things about myself, my deepest, darkest thoughts and fantasies. You know, like having your face smooshed hard against the pillow while you SLEEP for over 8 hours. Oh saucy! I better calm myself down here.

Maybe I should just stick to 20 facts about me.

I do enjoy reading things like this about other people, I’m inherently nosey. I wasn’t sure if I should do one. It’s a bit narcissistic, but I guess a blog by it’s nature is narcissistic. So why not eh?

Okily dokily, here we go. In no particular order here are 20 facts about me!

1. I’m shy. Unless I have had too much coffee, a sip of wine or placed in an extremely uncomfortable situation, I will be pretty shy. Most days. There are some, rare, occasions when my endorphins are on point and I’ll be making chat and jokes with everyone. Otherwise I’m pretty happy sitting in the corner, quietly scanning the room, gathering information like a T800.
2. I have 3 brothers. Each with their own varying degree of ugly
3. I have been in employment since I was 16 years old, only taking a 9 month break after having Jess. And we can all see (read) what happened to me then. It’s best I stay in employment for as long as possible. For my sanity.
4. I genuinely think I might be a terminator – killing aside. Without trying, I scan every environment I am in. I leave before Dave in the morning and get home before him. Yet, as soon as I walk through the front door I can tell you if he got a taxi or train to work, what shoes he’s wearing, what he ate for breakfast and how long he brushed his teeth for. It might sound fun, but it’s a bit of a pain in the arse. I notice everything (expect grammar and spelling mistakes in my posts it would seem).
5. I was born and bred in Glasgow, I would chib (Scottish for stab) you as soon as look at you. Kidding…
6. I know the words to (almost) every Queen and Michael Jackson song and given the chance I will serenade you with my sweet, sweet voice. I absolutely love Moon Walker, if David would let me I would watch it ALL THE TIME! A heehee, awoo!
7. My sister in-law has the same name as me. This causes great confusion for many people. Often, we get supposedly random people adding us on FB, every time we need to check that they aren’t looking for the other Kirsty. Sometimes, it looks like we are talking to ourselves on social media when there is a big thread of Kirsty after Kirsty. Apparently us having the same name causes confusion for credit score companies too….but I’m going to gloss over that one, as it will release a wild amount of rage in me. Fucking Equifax.
8. I have a degree in Human Biology and I couldn’t tell you shit about the human body.
9. I carry some regrets, all of which are surrounding being rude or nasty to people when I was younger. I tend to have a bit of a quick judgement of people, attached to a brutal opinion. I might be shy, but when it comes to voicing why you are an areshole (in my eyes) I’m all of a sudden Ms Confident. Which isn’t always right.
10. My eyebrow is quicker than my mind and my tongue isn’t far behind. I find it hard to lie as my face will usually give my true feelings away before I can conceal them. If the eyebrow raises, then you have most likely offended me and the tongue is about to unleash a torrent of Kirsty truths in your direction.
11. I have only ever been on three job interviews and each one resulted in me getting the job.
12. I love beans. Like LOVE baked beans. Not Heinz. Branston baked beans. I once was the proud owner of 17 tins of beans, all at the same time. It was glorious. Every single time I eat them, I let out a satisfied ‘ahhhh’ – there’s not many times that happens, amirite ladies? Jokes. No, but seriously, beans are my favourite food. Beans n cheese. Beans n toast. Beans n noodles (cooked in the one pot). Beans n potato. Beans n bread. Beans n waffles. Beans n hot sauce. Beans n BEANS! You get my drift. I bloody love beans. But not in that weird fetish way, when they fill up an entire bath tub with beans and then get in it. Not a chance I would disrespect such valuable beanage by subjecting it to my naked bottom.
13. I’m not the best reader or speller in the world. I have enough skill to get me through life, but I wouldn’t be thrilled with reading aloud or entering a spelling competition. Ask David, I once read Sorbet exactly as you would read it – Sor bet. With absolutely no idea it was wrong. I do this a lot, with loads of words. Living in Scotland isn’t exactly great for it, have you seen some of the place names?!
14. Selfishness deeply distresses me. Having a small, bigoted mind deeply distresses me. I detest anyone seeing a person’s sexuality, race, religion, gender, marital status or class before seeing them as a human being.
15. I’m pretty good at Mario Kart. But I won’t let you test that theory as…
16. I’m a horrendous loser. I’ll smash your face in if you beat me. Kidding. But I will envisage running you over with my car.
17. I swear a lot. I can’t help it. Nor do I want too.
18. I have always been let away with murder – is that a Scottish saying?- I’v always been able to give the puppy dog eyes and worm my way out of any naughtiness I have done. Usually a sibling or cousin would take the fall for my evil deed! Nae luck pal. I pressed the fire alarm in primary school, it didn’t go off completely, but when they checked who had been out the class and my name was said I mind the teacher saying ‘ No, it wouldn’t have been Kirsty’. But it was Kirsty! Hehe! It’s also got me out of a few driving (too fast) related issues.
19. I love acting a fool and making people laugh, I like to be around happy people.
20. I call my mum by her name as she hates it. So I love saying it. Jess calls her by her name too. Or she calls her granda, which I’m sure my mum loves just as much.

There you have it. You know so much about me we are practically best buddies now. Don’t forget my birthday, I’m 30 this year so I expect something good. Cash gifts are warmly received.