Continuing on my rage theme today, here is a list of Scottish ways that you can say to someone who is annoying you and you wish them to leave you alone – aka what I would love to say to the protagonist of today’s mood followed by a swift boot to the….
Add a thick Glaswegian accent for maximum effect.
Also, don’t read this if sweary words offend you.
Bolt ya rocket (get out my face, preferably over the next cliff you see)
Away take your face for a shite (you are talking rubbish and you’re ugly to boot)
Away bile yer heid (you are still talking rubbish and starting to do my head in)
Away tae fuck (self explanatory)
Yer a daft cow (stupid woman)
Away n shite, ya fud (get out my face, you are talking rubbish again)
Off you fuck (a more aggressive form of ‘leave me alone please’)
Shut yer mouth, yer arse is getting jealous (you are talking shit again)
Beat it ya bam (a nicer way to say go away, yet still conveying your unimpressed attitude)
You looking at me or chewing a brick? Either way, yur gonni to lose some teeth ( you are really pissing me off now and I’m going to lamp you one (punch you))
Away yea go, ya fucking bampot (the final warning to leave me alone)
Arsehole! (usually said with great vigour and passion)
You still talking? (exasperated, I ‘m done with this conversation)
Shut yur puss (stop talking)
Yer arse is oot the windae, ya rocket (you’re talking nonsense)
Get tae fuck, ya bawbag (a ‘go away’ command reserved for when someone Is really offending you)
You’re a fucking arse piece (you’re an idiot, you disgust me)
Shut yer face (stop taking n away bile yer heid)
Ahhhh yes, that is much better.
It’s better out than in, that’s what they say. I can feel the anger leaving my pores with every word I type, how refreshing. Think I will have a cup of green tea now.
Namaste.
If you like it, give it a wee share :)
Honest K 
Anger management phrases, ending with Namaste….funny.
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Yes, I am very calm and collected now…if only 😀
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These are brilliant! I would love to use a few, but unfortunately I am English and it just doesn’t work without the Scottish accent 😞
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Mmm, you might be right. They do need a certain aggressive twang, how about ‘off you fuck, you cockwomble’
That might work 😂
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Hahaha!!
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Wow. This was everything I have ever wanted and more. I have always wanted to move to Scotland from learning Spanish from Mark and Cara on coffee time espanol… Now I will be looking at real estate.
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😂 I was so confused when I read learning Spanish and Scotland? But I googled it and Mark is from West Scotland, is that right? It all makes sense now 😂
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You should put up a video where your use this words… Or your Scottish accent in general. You make much fuss of it I’ll like to hear it 😮
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Oh I make a fuss do I? 😂 I’d like to be brave enough to make a video! Maybe one day
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I’ll be waiting for that day
…and for the day you write of course 😉😅
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Oh my! Am I detecting some undertones (blatant) sarcasm here. The cheek 🙂
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Ah nah nah. 😂😂
Okay a little of it🙈😅
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Managing to keep Popcorn alive. Sitting here with the sun kissing my soul. Was thinking about you. Yes, and wondering how you be? Jess, and Popcorn. She has not ate her yet? 🌞💐🎁🎠🌈
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The sun? I’m confused? What is that exactly? Iv heard about it, but not seen it, even though I hear June is usually a good month for it 🤔
Popcorn is well, thanks. Just had her out the cage, trying to bribe her love with chocolate. She’s still not a fan of us yet, soon though. How are you? Jess is great, she did try to snuggle the poor hamster, head first of course 😂 Jess is currently potty training, she’s getting used to it slowly. She’s absolutely thrilled every time she does a pee, as are we! 😊 any news from the doctors yet?
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Ha. Chocolate too funny. No I have to see a surgeon and discuss my options. I freaking hate doctors. They all suck!! Nice. I remember potty training. Right from the get go we taught the boy to stand and pee😂. They love it when they go feel so proud to do it. Are you having more kids?
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Oh dear, don’t hate on them too much 😂 hope you can get something to help you, it really does sound awful to have to go through it all the time and the effect it has on your life 😔 potty training is, hmmmm, interesting 🤔😃 there’s been lots of accidents, one in the car this morning 😐 luckily it’s the grandparents that have to suffer most of the ‘accidents’ during the week, but now it’s the weekend I fully expect I’ll be knee deep in toddler poo! 🙈
I would like to have more kids, one more for sure. Don’t know when 🤔 guess when we feel the time is right or when we go completely insane due to lack of sleep 😊 how’s the house painting going?
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Oh right the sun something they say if you stare directly at you will go blind. Nothing to rave about. Just good I’m vitamin D in a beam. I look like an Irish black woman too. Gonna get corn rolls tomorrow. Yeah I wish I could that dark. 💁
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Oh yes! The elusive vitamin D! Lap it up, I would love to be in the sun right now. It’s hot and wet here, wet is the norm but being hot while you are getting soaked it quite distressing. I never tan, my freckles only grown stronger in appearance 😑
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“Off you fuck” is my favorite. I’m saying that to someone tomorrow. Hopefully not loud enough for the kids to hear me.
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Haha! The truth is the kids will hear you as it will be directed towards them…no?….just me? Ha! Off you fuck is a good one, I don’t use it enough.
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I’m a Scot in exile in London. My “Away ye go ye bampot!” usually gets mixed responses. Alas (according to my parents and sister still resident in Scotland) I’m becoming an anglicised received pronunciation Sassenach as I’ve adapted my normal scots dialect into something more “acceptable” down here.
At least It makes my wife laugh when I switch back to broad(er) Scots when I phone home 😀
Thanks for the laugh/Fond memories !
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Tut tut, it’s clear from your writing that you are indeed a Sassenach. I’m sorry for your loss 😆 I call my partner a Sassenach just to annoy him – his family are Scottish but his parents worked down south at the time of him birth, so he is technically English.
I imagine you will get many a funny look, that’s if they can understand you in the first place. I don’t blame you for adapting 😂 it is useful to have a few ‘proper’ Scottish sweary words/insults up your sleeve. Although you will need to work on your accents if you are to achieve maximum feartiness in your enemies 😊
Glad you enjoyed it, I certainly enjoyed getting my aggression out that day!
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Hah! I hail from Dumfries (then north Via Aberdeen for 15 years) but I’ve been exiled to London for the last decade or so.. my accent (“Galloway Irish” mostly.. that soft almost Scots/almost Irish cross-pollination) was never strong to start with has softened even further down here. But, yes, a few choice Scots phrases and swears come in handy at times 😀
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Oh! You’re a Teuchter! I see I see 😁 my partner has a house up north in Embo. The Scots accent is verrry different up north, sometimes I struggle 😄 it’s quite the contrast, Dumfries to London. Iv never been but I can imagine the swear words might help on the underground, iv hear many horror stories!
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