Things will never be the same again

Settle down and let me list you some of the ways in which parenthood has changed me. This is not an exhaustive list, if I done that you would be exhausted reading and I would be exhausted typing and getting myself whipped up into some form of wild soap box feminist ‘lets all unite’ frenzy, ain’t no need for that kind of behaviour on a calm afternoon.

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What a terrible mother….

Does everyone love hanging about with their kid every day, all day?

I love Jess to bits,I really do. I love her enough that if I hear a noise I will loudly thump my way down the stairs (the thumping obviously scares the bad man away) to scope out the place, checking the doors, kinnnda checking the bathroom – you know, like the bad man will be hiding in there waiting for his opportune moment when I’m doing a whiz and he’ll cut me into tiny pieces. If I hear a noise and Jess isn’t in, then I’ll pull the covers over my head and hope for the best.

So you see I do like her, alot.

*hides behind keyboard

Oft, I’m nervous. Like I’m walking into a room filled with people who are all about to turn and stare at me for being late. Late and naked! 

I guess I could stop typing, but I want to do this, I like the tippy tappy noise of the keyboard – I’m joking (although this keyboard is particularly satisfying). I want to blog for lots of reasons, one of which is to share.

Have a baby they said…

One of the main reason’s I wanted to start a blog is to make sense of having a baby.

That might sound silly. I’ll try my best to explain.

When you tell people you are pregnant with your first child you get the usual words of wisdom like ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ and ‘best days of your life’, you will most certainly get birthing horror stories of rips and tears in places you can’t even name. All of this never phased me, I didn’t watch birth videos, I didn’t attend classes, I just went about my business completely naive to the projectile shit that was about to hit the fan.