Sometimes I would like to say I’m sorry. To my partner. To my friends. But depression has a way of stifling, silencing my words, unable to be pronounced, never mind explained. Sometimes my actions, speak louder than words, but that voice is false and If I could use my words, I would explain to you why.
Sometimes you see me snap at nothing. If I could use my words I would tell you I snap in frustration, exhaustion and self-protection. I snap because I’m reaching my limit and I cannot have more pressure added. I’d tell you there is turmoil in my mind, over doing what I want and what I feel like I should be doing. I’d tell you my depression winds me so tight, and so highly strung that asking for something outside my normal schedule creates an unjustified amount of stress. I’d tell you that I just want space, but feel wrong or guilty in doing so. I’d tell you being around people can leave me drained. Continue reading “The one where depression tries to silence you”
I want to believe I am the best thing since sliced bread.
I want to believe every heart felt word or encouragement from my partner’s mouth.
I want to believe I am the best mum for my daughter.
I want to believe what my daughter so freely shows, that I am her idol.
I want to believe I am the mum that she sees.
But I don’t believe it. I know me better than that and I believe I am toxic to my child.
Isn’t that fucked up? Continue reading “I want to believe”
Become Self Aware to improve Self Care
^^ I’m copywriting that stroke of literacy genius up there^^
I never thought I would see the day that I, HonestK (that’s my name, check my birth certificate if you like), would not only have huge interest in self care, but that I would actually be writing a post about it. As I have mentioned previously in ‘Bitches be crazy’, I thought I was pretty immune to the mumbo jumbo nonsense that is mental health and self care, tainting it with the perception that it was all a bunch of crazy, for crystal swinging, essential oil sniffing, bendy yoga loving, incense burning nutters.
Well, it’s not. Continue reading “Self Care – Awareness”