I offer thee a Period Pack. May it improve your hormonal state and my life expectancy.

I should make a disclaimer that I was at the height of hormones when I wrote this. I apologise for any and all sexism. This apology will expire at onset of the next period.
Also, I’m not really sorry, vagina life is a tough life. Think yourself lucky you don’t own this contraption.

Period Pack: An offering to the female of the species at her most volatile time. Period packs are, usually, gifted by the male to subdue the females aggressive, emotional and unstable behaviour at the onset of menses. Well received packs typically contain chocolate, puddings, cake, wine and/or relaxation aids such as bath bombs.

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Lady Secrets

This is a post for all the men out there.

Come close, I’m going to tell you a secret. Actually, I’m going to tell you more than one secret so get comfortable (here on my leg).

These are women secrets (said in a seductive, husky voice). Things that (you think would be pretty obvious and men would do already,  but here we are) you can do for your partner to really make her feel loved, appreciated, respected and the center of your world. AKA all the shit a man can do to stop his partner from having the biannual mental eruption of ‘Why are you asking ME whats for dinner when you are in the kitchen?! Are you kidding me? Must I do everything?! I’m out of here, this is bullshit, you do fuck all around here! Fuck you, arsehole!’ – My friend told me she said that once, it wasn’t me.

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