I offer thee a Period Pack. May it improve your hormonal state and my life expectancy.

I should make a disclaimer that I was at the height of hormones when I wrote this. I apologise for any and all sexism. This apology will expire at onset of the next period.
Also, I’m not really sorry, vagina life is a tough life. Think yourself lucky you don’t own this contraption.

Period Pack: An offering to the female of the species at her most volatile time. Period packs are, usually, gifted by the male to subdue the females aggressive, emotional and unstable behaviour at the onset of menses. Well received packs typically contain chocolate, puddings, cake, wine and/or relaxation aids such as bath bombs.

Continue reading “I offer thee a Period Pack. May it improve your hormonal state and my life expectancy.”

I will do anything for love, but I won’t share that!

I’ll share many things with my partner. We share life, the usual stuff, sharing a bed, sharing raising a child, sharing chores (unevenly), sharing the occasional breakdown when you just can’t take anymore of being an adult, sharing the burden of people constantly questioning our relationship status – ‘are you getting married?’, we share the eye rolls, the moans, the good, the bad and the ugly. I’m talking the real ugly, the shiting on the bed having a baby ugly. To be fair, I don’t remember doing it, so did it really happen? Continue reading “I will do anything for love, but I won’t share that!”

Im 30 and I like it

Happy birthday to me eh? It is too early for a hip replacement?

Well, like is a bit of a strong word. But what really are your options for turning the dreaded 3.0? Like my dad says ‘you can like it or lump it’. I’m going to tolerate it. I swore to myself that I wasn’t going to be one of those club 30 people, those people that fester on their age, believing the end is nigh, dooms day is fast approaching after the turn 29, the last year of their twenties. I promised myself 30 would just be a number, nothing important, just another orbit around the sun I have endured enjoyed. Continue reading “Im 30 and I like it”

Depression – soon you might be an old friend.

It this the end of my depression?

Guess who’s back, back again, Kirsty’s back, tell a friend.

This is quite a bizarre feeling, I didn’t even realise it until a few weeks ago, but I feel ‘fine’. Not sure if ‘fine’ cuts it, I feel ‘great’ – Tony the tiger great.

depression friends honestk

For someone diagnosed with depression, who monitored her every feeling for fear falling back into the ‘darkness’ I sure did miss the turning point in my mental health, much like failing to see the dark path into depression. But I think, think, there’s light ahead, I’m pretty sure I see a flicker of hope and normality, in the not too far future.  Continue reading “Depression – soon you might be an old friend.”

The Jess Song

I wrote a song for Jess, in no way shape or form is it inspired or a rip off of John Legend’s ‘All of me’ ….okay, it is.

I wrote a song for Jess, in no way shape or form is it inspired or a rip off of John Legend’s ‘All of me’ ….okay, it is. Just think yourself lucky I didn’t record me singing it! I recon I’m a good 1000 blogs away from becoming YouTube confident. Can you imagine the amount of bleeps I would need to add to cover my language?! Jesus, no. I’d need an 18 rating!

It’s best you have the tune of ‘All of me’ in your head before you read my ‘song’ – which I’m going to title….mmm, thinking….yup, ‘All of Jess’. Oft, telling you, if I don’t start winning award’s for my strokes of genius soon, well, there’s going to be a global outcry! Continue reading “The Jess Song”